All good things come to an end. Thankfully, so too do all bad things and everything that is in between – things that are good some weeks and not so good the next.
So it will probably come as a relief to long-suffering readers that this will be my final column for the newspaper.
It was nearly seven years ago, while working with a wonderful cast of characters at Cartmel Racecourse, that I was invited to contribute a weekly horseracing column and I have enjoyed every moment.
Like Puck, in A Midsummer Night’s Dream, I have tried my hand at magic – albeit with decidedly mixed results.
More often than not, I’ve anointed the wrong horse with my selection.
Indeed, many readers must have wondered whether the selection of a weekly tip actually acted as an inhibitor to those horses - rather than a go-faster charm.
Overall though, I believe that £1 staked on each selection since the column began (about 340 horses in all) would have yielded a profit in the region of £3.50.
That’s nearly enough to buy a pint in some pubs, but not enough for pork scratchings – so I’m going to suggest that we gather our chips and play double or quits.
Let’s shove the whole lot on one of the most anticipated equine clashes matches of the Century so far: the unbeaten champion chaser Altior against the excitingly flamboyant Cyrname at Ascot this afternoon.
While it may seem like a flight of fancy to go against Altior, victorious in all 19 of his starts over obstacles and a four-time Cheltenham Festival hero, I haven’t see a horse like Cyrname since Desert Orchid soared into action more than 30 years ago.
Like Desert Orchid, Cyrname appears to have a preference for right-handed tracks and a particular liking for Ascot and Kempton.
He sets a scorching pace and throws in tremendous leaps, frequently standing off from outside the wings of the fences. He is a dream of a horse.
And while on the subject of dreams, with apologies to William Shakespeare (if you’re going to plagiarise, you might as well plagiarise the best), I’d like to offer the following before I leave the stage...
If this column has offended,
Think but this and all is mended:
That you have but slumber’d here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream.
Readers, do not reprehend:
if you pardon, I will mend.
And, as I am an honest Puck,
If we have suffered some poor luck
And our selections have failed to perform,
We will make amends ere long;
Else the Puck a liar call;
So, good night unto you all.
Give me your hands, if we be friends,
And let’s hope Cyrname can make amends.
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