ALAN Partridge would not like the Ferry Hotel on Walney.
Fans of Steve Coogan's toe-curling Radio Norfolk presenter will recall that when reduced to living in a "Travel Tavern" for months, Mr Partridge took exception to the eight-inch plates provided at the all-you-can-eat buffet – and smuggled in a 12-inch plate of his own.
The standard carvery at the Ferry, of which my husband and I partook on Wednesday evening, is of the eight-inch plate variety; the result being that even if you don't take very much food, your plate ends up piled so high you look like Billy Bunter on a binge. But by golly it's cheap.
We arrived just after 7pm on a day which had seen wind, snow and sunshine – and cold temperatures. They breed them sturdy on Walney because despite the chill breeze, there were a fair few hardy souls sitting drinking outside.
We're Ulverstonians (and therefore mollycoddled wimps by Barrovian standards), so we hurried inside to find a table.
It's fair to say the Ferry has seen better days in terms of its interior design. Chipped and peeling paintwork, past its best upholstery and faded soft furnishings. It looks as though precious little money has been spent on this place since circa 1990.
But you don't go the Ferry for its decor: you go for a stupendously cheap meal. We ordered drinks at the bar – pint of lager for my husband and the most insipid glass of Chardonnay I've ever sampled for me.
The pub wasn't full but there were plenty of couples and families dining, along with a fair number of after-work drinkers – always a good sign; and crucial to the economic viability of a pub.
We ordered garlic prawns (£3.19) and battered mushrooms (£2.50) for starters. After a fairly lengthy wait, they were brought by a very friendly waitress called Ashley.
There weren't many prawns but the few were reasonably juicy and in a tasty sauce. Lots of fresh baguette to mop up the sauce.
Gordon was perfectly happy. I didn't like the mushrooms at all. The batter wasn't very nice, the texture was wrong and the dish didn't look in the least bit appetising. But at £2.50, who cares. Abandoning my house wine, I acquired a glass of very good Oyster Bay chardonnay to accompany the main course.
The carvery had clearly been doing a roaring trade that day, as there was only roast beef left, we were told. In fact, some half chickens were brought out a few minutes later – and there were also spare ribs.
We picked up our plates, leading to a diversionary discussion about size. "Are you sure this is eight inches?" Gordon inquired. He was convinced it was more like 12 inches. "Definitely eight", I assured him, wishing that Alan Partridge were there to confirm matters.
Now, Gordon has some form when it comes to the Ferry carvery. I actually went to review this place a few months ago but was thwarted in my attempt when, having piled his plate with food, Gordon made the cardinal error of pouring curry sauce all over his roast dinner, having mistaken it for gravy.
He asked Josh, who was serving the meat, whether this is a common occurrence. "I've heard of people doing it but I've never actually seen it," he replied, with the wistfulness of someone who yearns to see the Northern Lights. "Stick around, mate, and you may well get your chance any minute now," I muttered under my breath. But no, this time Gordon manfully negotiated the sauce counter with ease, pouring gravy not curry sauce over his meal.
The beef was tender, if not rare enough for our tastes, the roast potatoes delicious, and the accompaniments simple but good. There was a lovely and creamy cauliflower cheese, cabbage, carrots, Yorkshire puddings (nothing special) and even chips should one so desire – which we didn't.
At £4.49, this is brilliant value, notwithstanding the small plates. You can go up for seconds anyway, so there is no stinting. OK, this wasn't the best pub roast we've ever had, but it's certainly the best value.
For research purposes we both had a pudding – key lime pie for Gordon and salted caramel cheesecake for me: both new on the menu that day; and great value at a shade over £3 each. They were delicious. Josh, the chef, came over for a chat and to see what we thought of the new puds. Thumbs up all round.
For three courses each – including as much food as we cared to pile on to our eight-inch plates – with a pint of lager and two glasses of wine, our bill came to £33.
By far the most expensive item on the bill was my £6 glass of Oyster Bay. Astonishingly good value. All the staff who served us – Stacey, Ashley and Josh – were cheerful and friendly and they contributed to an enjoyable experience.
The Ferry may be a little rough around the edges but if you want to eat plentifully and cheaply, it's well worth a trip over the bridge.
By LOUISE ALLONBY
Food: 3.5
Service 4
Value 5
Atmosphere 2
Stupendously good value
Friendly staff
Channel views
Rather tatty interior
Small plates
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